Marilyn

Marilyn
Her hands are withered and drawn by the countless hours of work she has endured. The gilded rings on her slender fingers seem to have grown over time and barely cling to her knuckles. Her skin is translucent, sapphire veins emerge from under the glossamery surface. She is beautiful. Her vigilant eyes are mild and amiable, a deep green that her bright soul shines through. When she smiles, sully teeth appear from countless years of drinking her favorite coffee three times each day. Her teeth may not sparkle but her smile? Stunning. Each line on her soft face displays how wise she has become over many years. Her hair is a flawless alabaster, the envy of all women her age. She is beautiful.
When in her presence, a warm and affectionate embrace takes hold, lacking a feeling of judgement. Her gait is reticent and frail, yet she moves swiftly enough to be unnoticed in a crowd. She avoids attention and praise yet is overly gracious when complimenting others. Her height barely peeks over my shoulder, yet she will never be looked down upon. She has earned great respect and obedience through her fulfilling years of being a mother. She is beautiful. She is soft-spoken, difficult to hear at times. When she speaks, silence falls over the full room as her audience listens to her words attentively.
Rarely does she complain about pain or trouble, for she is strong. Strong enough to raise five children and lose her husband and three-year-old daughter along the stretch of life. Her abundant family is her everything, her life, her force that keeps her moving. The parentheses around her mouth display her optimistic personality and her joyful way of living. She may never know but her words will live on forever. She is beautiful.
Standards:
Writinng 1- I had to be very descriptive in this piece and it was hard to do because I had to take more time to find words that described my grandma without being harsh. This was easier for me to write because of how much I admire her and how much time I spend with her.
Writing 4- I used the internet to find better words that portrayed Marilyn in a softer way. I had to change may words to make the piece more affectionate and it was amazing to see how how a few simple words can change the feeling of a story.
Language 4- I used figurative language by personifying certain qualities and to best describe my grandma and her personatily.