Scary Setting

Voices over the wall creep through cracks until only a whisper can be heard. Broken glass from the windows reflects the dim light from outside the abandoned building, making the vast room a dark grey hue. Decrepit limbs of monsters appear on the floor and walls as a car drives by shining its lights through the broken glass windows. Noises from an unknown being sends shivers down my back and I feel the hairs on the my neck rise. Chains rattle from a large, dark vault around the corner and a laugh pierces my ears as the sound of a knife being sharpened begins. Looking around the corner there is nothing but perfect cleanliness and cold metal from ceiling to floor. The laughing continues somewhere in the room but is impossible to locate.
Suddenly the area is still, nothing but creaks in the floor can be heard. As the silence goes on, tension thickens and the temperature drops almost instantly creating bumps under the surface of my skin. Quiet noises from every direction haunt the room making it hopeless to find the source. A door opens near the middle of the wall to my right and an unbearably bright light shines through. The light reveals the chilling silhouette of a tall broad man with long, stringy, grey hair and a freshly sharpened knife in hand. The laugh that previously filled the room returns as the corners of his rotting mouth shift to the ceiling. Content on my face, his dim eyes are full of nothing. Empty and abandoned, they glare in my direction and reject any other distractions in the room. The forlorn body that once obtained a soul, slowly transfers its weight to one foot, lifting the other from the floor and taking its first step toward me. Repeating the process other the other side, he is determined to reach the helpless, quivering body in front of him. He raises the knife over his head and lets one one final laugh. I scream and open my eyes to see that it was only a dream as my father came into my room to check on me. Seeing that everything was alright, he turned his back and made his way toward the door. Just before his tall broad frame exited the room, the laugh that haunted my dream returned.
Standards:
Writing 1- I did my best to help whoever reads this story, to see the setting that I imagined for this piece. This was the most difficult story that I had to write because I hate being scared. I do not watch scary movies or do anything that would scare me. Although I do not enjoy scary things, I tried to put myself of the scarriest situation that I could think of to write this so that my audience would be able to feel the setting.
Writing 4- I used thesaurus to find words that would create a creepier setting and to be as descrptive as I could. Thesaurus and dictionary.com were both very helpful to me while writing this scary setting.
Speaking and Listening 2- I read my story to my my family and got their opinions on what could be better. That was helpful in fixing things and making it better.
Language 1- I used correct grammar in explaing my surroundings as well as using proper English to make each sentence.
Language 4- I used a lot of personification to be descriptive through this fictional story. Personification is the best way to really show your audience how you want them to see your work and to make it come alive.